Alchemy is a project that personifies the long-lasting and sometimes permanent effects of trauma and abuse. The red thread is a physical manifestation of the invisible internal violence that is experienced when dealing with pain brought on by someone else. By facing what we have been through and what has been said to us throughout our lives, we are able to minimize its effects by transmuting it into something else in a healthy way.
Sewing words and memories of events into one’s skin is a metaphor for allowing those who have hurt us to become permanent fixtures in our lives, and they control how we see and treat ourselves. In a more literal sense, we harm ourselves even more by holding onto our negative experiences and allowing them to take over. Although we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond and recover. This sequence of photos depicts trauma as a living thing with a mind of its own, but it shrinks and dies as it is worked through. The images containing phrases were created by sewing words into sheets of fake skin and then digitally edited onto my own.
The use of the red thread is a reference to the “Red String of Fate” theory from Chinese and Japanese folklore. It explains that two souls are connected by a single red thread regardless of where we are in the world and what happens to us throughout our lives. Love is something everyone chases. Whether it be romantic, familial or platonic, everyone is trying their best to be loved. In the process, people often entangle themselves in things and people that they shouldn’t. This project is partially a self-portrait because it features personal life events and words that have been said to me directly, but these experiences are unfortunately not unique. These photos are a reflection of how I have internalized my pain and lost myself in the process of wanting to be loved by those around me. Consequently, the people I have loved have hurt me the most. Instead of locating the other end of the string and making my existence all about my trauma and the search for something external, I took my power back and made something new out of my painful experiences.
The word “alchemy” is defined as the transformation of matter, specifically turning base metals into gold. In spirituality, alchemy is considered the internal process of transmuting pain, negative experiences, and negative characteristics into something positive. In regards to this series, my pain had been transmuted into healing and art through spiritual alchemy. As a result, the thread is no longer worn as an open wound but as a form of adornment.
